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Obama Leading Reagan For New Face on 100 Dollar Bill

The year 2020 will mark the time that America’s one-hundred dollar bill will require it’s redesign.  In retiring the old Benjamin Franklin note, the United States Treasury Department put out a call to determine who would be the next dignitary to grace our currency.  After eliminating such notables as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Bruce Springsteen, Alex Trebek and Kanye West, the last two finalists came out to Presidents Ronald Reagan or Barack Obama.  As of this morning, Obama has the lead, 86% to 12%.

Strangely, 2% of the votes went to Ron Jeremy through some sort of back channel.

Over tens of concerned and patriotic Americans have asked : “Why isn’t President Donald J. Trump, our country’s finest mammal in the running?  Well, according to sources inside the Treasury, President Trump Himself passed on the honor since the hundred dollar bill is like : “A penny to him, to be hoarded by poor people and ugly children.”

This poor young man unfortunately walked in on Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a mall dressing room and is dealing with his condition admirably.

So what now? Are we doomed to have an American currency note with the face of Benghazi, Target restrooms, and Coffee Cup Salutes?  You can make a difference.  Go to the Department’s web page and vote.  It takes a village.

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